Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
