so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
