I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you win again, gameday.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
