i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
