A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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