It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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