Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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