You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
