dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize