I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Randomize
