some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
