And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
