sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
