Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
