Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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