I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
