awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
