By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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