Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
