Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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