dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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