I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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