Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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