Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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