you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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