i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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