Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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