Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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