and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
