DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
