turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
