Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
