one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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