Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
