Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
