Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
