bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize