he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
