Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it's like iHOP with fire
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize