Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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