census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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