my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
