It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
