You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
