Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
