if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
