So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
