He is such a slut. More and more my type.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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