How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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