yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize