I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize