i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I didn't notice because vodka
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
