You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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