dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize