That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
