was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
