I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize