hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
