i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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