if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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