nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
