Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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