I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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