he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize