dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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