You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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