the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize