somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
