apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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