fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize