I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
