your thong is hanging out like whoa
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
