You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
