I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
