When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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